#sufferers casual
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Hollis Barrow, lead singer of Sufferers Casual, and my OC for @infamous-if’s addictive game, highly recommend ❤️
#infamous if#infamous if oc#interactive fiction oc#original character#original art#my OCs#Hollis barrow#Sufferers Casual
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TW & CW As an audience we know about Andrew's self harm and self destruction in a small degree, we know what Andrew was willing to share with Neil. But to see how he uses it as a form of self regulation and grounding, to see how Bee is able to help him and how he listens to her, and to see how he feels that it is something he needs to hide!!
#oiwhfAWORIHGIUEHA I LOVE THIS MAN AND I LOVE WATCHING HIM SUFFER#thankyou nora#just how it is so casual for him!?#does he do it all the time and neil does not notice??#or does he feel comfortable enough with bee?#does he even know? is it only bc he has suffered a trauma that he lets his habits slip? I HAVE QS NORA#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#the foxhole court#andrew minyard#nora sakavic#andreil#aftg spoilers#the raven king#aftg extra content#mine#aaron minyard#betsy dobson
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This was vent art when I originally drew it, but now it's basically just some relatable Donnie angst that I liked enough to post.
#Just casually doing that artist thing of making cathartic art of your current favorite character suffering. Sorry Don.#Also doubling as some minor expression and posing practice? I suppose?#artrehearsals#donatello hamato#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#chiscribbs#fanart
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Wait what’s the tea on Valentino’s sleep patterns 👀👀 (fellow insomniac / recent motogp fan always looking for more representation)
oh yeah, if you're looking for representation for poor sleeping habits you've very much come to the right place. his sleep patterns are pretty remarkable you have to say. way too nocturnal for a professional athlete, reliant on naps to get through the race weekend, all power to him for somehow making that work and winning all those titles. pretty sure I've read somewhere that he's still known for doing sim races at ungodly hours these days, just how he lives his life
tbh I can't remember off the top of my head where I'd actually read about his sleeping patterns, but I've cobbled together a decent selection of quotes from the usual sources. the most interesting stuff he's said on the topic is in his autobiography - where he goes into rather a lot of detail about his preference for the night. given that it's quite a lengthy passage, I've chucked it under the cut. he frames his nocturnal inclination as not only suiting his natural body clock better, but also as a way of escaping the rest of the world - of being able to move around in peace and silence and anonymity. plus, he liked to spend his nights in the garage to... *pinches bridge of nose* have some special personal time with his bike, when it was just the two of them. take that as you will
before that, let's just start with a few more general descriptions of his sleeping patterns. from early in his career, jerez 1998 (from oxley's vr files):
The camper only holds two people, but that's okay. I don't like my dad to sleep with me, because when it gets to ten o'clock he starts saying: "Vale, Vale, got to bed!", but I can't go to sleep before one or two. We did share a motorhome in '96 and it made life very, very difficult for me.
and about brno 1999 (from oxley's vr files):
On weekends when I'm not racing, I never go to bed before six or seven on Sunday morning. If it's a party, maybe even later, but going to bed at six in the morning is quite normal for me! Even when I was 14 I used to go to bed at 4am. Quite often I'd be riding around the local minimoto tracks until after midnight! If I go to sleep at 11 or 12 I just lie there, my eyes wide open. Maybe I would be good for 24-hour racing!
and then a few years into his premier class career, valentino says the following (x):
'I have a lot of energy after 2am,' Rossi agreed. 'I like to sleep in the morning. I have some problems at the start of the day.'
we've also got a description of crew chief jb's influence in terms of making sure valentino wasn't slacking off by sleeping in (from oxley's vr files):
Burgess' talents aren't restricted to getting the best out of a 500. The Aussie has been in GPs for decades and knows how to extract the best from riders as well. He expects 100 per cent commitment both on the track and in the pits, and when he doesn't get that, he gives 'em hell. Some other crew chiefs won't do that - they're too overawed by their riders' superstardom. JB laid down the law last summer when late-sleeper Rossi turned up late for practice. Rossi suggested that in future one of the crew should be despatched to his motorhome each morning to make sure he was out of bed. No way, said Burgess, I'll be there to give you your wake-up call. Rossi's not overslept since.
and from 2001, in valentino's own words:
Q: Tell us about your sleeping habits, JB has had to wake you a few times for practice... VR: I never go to bed before 1 o'clock, and there's no limit on when I go to bed, but even when I go to sleep very late I always wake up at 8.30, though when I do wake up I always have a big confusion for the first five minutes, then after that I remember: "Oh fuck, I'm at world grand prix!" So I have a shower and then I'm okay. I never get up too close to riding time because the 500 is a dangerous bike so it's necessary to be awake when you climb aboard. Back in the afternoon after practice at four or five o'clock I'll sleep for another hour.
only semi-related but valentino's also talked about... you know, this generational shift - where the sport has become more professionalised, which is reflected in certain lifestyle changes (from barker's rossi biography):
"The next generation is always stronger. They are more professional, they put more effort in, they make a perfect life, they eat in a good way, they don't drink, they go to sleep early, they train every day from the morning to the night... I come from an era where the riders drank beer and smoked cigarettes!"
also plenty of talk of jet lag obviously... doesn't struggle with it too much headed westwards because he says he basically lives on american time anyway. the other direction is tougher, but in his youth he decided that he might as well try to continue living on italian time. so he essentially went racing at 5 in the morning (about phillip island 1998, from oxley's vr files):
I don't have a problem with jet lag, I always sleep. Last year in Indonesia I stayed on Italian time for the whole grand prix - so I was racing at five in the morning! But the difference is too great to do that in Australia.
how on earth are you racing motorcycles like that. mind you, he won that 1997 indonesia race
so yeah. king of disordered sleeping. given the nature of motogp schedules and how they do kind of require you to actually get up in the mornings, congrats to him for being remotely functional during race weekends. crazy how he even won the odd race
and here's the autobiography passage:
My day, usually, begins in the afternoon. It’s as if I exist inside my own personal time zone. I live at night, because I love the night. Now, this might make you think I do goodness-knows-what in the wee hours, or that I don’t live the life of a professional athlete. It’s true, I don’t live the life of an athlete in the traditional sense — early to bed, early to rise and all that — but this does not mean that I’m not careful about what I eat and drink or that I don’t train. In fact, I train a lot, both in the gym and on the bike. It’s just that I go to the gym in the afternoon, rather than the morning. Equally, when I’m training on the bike, down at the quarry, I always go in the afternoon, never at nine o'clock in the morning. My body has a certain type of metabolism. It is used to living according to a different body clock. That’s why, even if I’m travelling all over the world, I don’t experience jet lag and I rarely go to bed before 3 a.m. It’s much more likely that I’m just tucking into bed as people are leaving for work. As I say, I have a special relationship with the night. I like moving in it, living in it, thinking in it, relaxing in it. The night fascinates me, because it’s the period of least confusion. The world calms down, it goes quiet. And, besides, I’m Valentino Rossi. I’m wanted... I'm a fugitive. Yes, I’m always running away from my _ beloved countrymen. The Italians. I’m proud to be Italian, I'm proud of our merits and I regret our shortcomings. Italians are exceptional people. In every way. Even when they start loving you. Because that’s actually when problems can arise — if it’s you that the Italian falls in love with. Italian people are warm, empathetic, spontaneous. But they can also be excessive, oppressive and disrespectful. I don’t know who said that Italians will forgive everything except for success. Whoever it was, they were right. Because it’s absolutely true. After the 1997 season, I could tell I was becoming popular. Year after year, that popularity turned into fully fledged love. They’re in love with me now and, as a result, since the 2004 season, I’ve been a man on the run. And there’s no escape, no end in sight, because wherever I go they find me. There are simple things, the little pleasures in life, which I simply can’t engage in when I’m back in Italy. I can’t go to the bar and have a cappuccino, because I would not be able to drink it. To be fair, I can do it in Tavullia, but that's the only place. If I go more than a few kilometres in any direction from the centre of town, that's it, everything changes and I become, once again, a hunted man. I can’t walk into a store, look at something and decide what I want to buy. In fact, I can’t stop anywhere, not even at a petrol station. If I stop, I’m screwed. Somebody will recognise me (Italians are exceptionally good at recognising people), make a lot of noise, call other people and then, before I know it, I’ve been swallowed up by the crowd. If I schedule a meeting with someone, we have to meet in a secret, out-of-the-way location and, even then, we can't linger. I can't go to a restaurant if there are too many people inside. And if I do go, I can't go at a normal time, say eight o'clock. I have to go later, much later, when people are leaving. And I can't sit where I like, I have to hide away in a corner, in the shadows. As for places like cinemas or the beach, forget about it. They are just always off-limits.
Having said that, I do mix with people. I do it because I like doing it. It’s just that I wish I could do it as a normal person, because, deep down, I am a normal human being. This is part of the reason why I have to live at night. It would be that much tougher during the day, with all those people about. Plus, I don’t like the traffic, the chaos, the noise, all those people running all over the place, stressed out and out of breath. The night is different. Everything is softer, there are fewer people around and you are much more free. It’s like a parallel dimension. The world is different at night. Everything is different. That’s why I’ve assimilated the lyrics of a song by the Italian artist Jovanotti, “Gente. della notte” (“People of the night”). It has become my personal anthem. Jovanotti is one of my favourite singers and I find myself agreeing with him on most things. I love his work. What else can I say? The night is my reality. And I don’t change just because Grands Prix are scheduled during the day. My way of being and living is reflected in what I do during races. I don’t really change. Obviously, I don’t go to bed at dawn, but let’s just say that when I do, finally, go to bed, there aren’t many people around. Everything is better at night in the paddock. There is silence, the people _ have disappeared and, with them, the chaos. I can wander around freely, most of all I can enjoy the empty pit area and my bike. Yes, my bike. Because at night I often slip into the team garage. At some races I do it every single night, because I love being with my bike. My night-time activities can be traced back to the years racing in 125cc, and are directly tied to my passion for aesthetics and the stickers, which would later become my obsession. I don’t leave anything to chance'when it comes to choosing the colour or the stickers for my bike. That’s why I’ve always been central to any and all discussions when we were deciding the aesthetics of my racing bikes. I’ve done it always, with every bike, at every level, with every team. And, naturally, I still do it today. Nobody has ever been allowed to attach a single sticker to my bike, unless it was the logo of a technical sponsor. Until a few years ago I was totally inflexible about this. Now, Roby takes care of the number: he attaches it because then he needs to cover it in transparent paint. But apart - from -this, which is primarily a technical procedure anyway, I take care of everything else to do with the stickers. And this takes time and planning, which is why I started going to the garage at night. During the day it is packed with people. There are mechanics, technicians and others around. I would just get in the way, if I wanted to get near the bike just to check the stickers. As I got older and progressed from 125 to 250 and then to 500 and on to MotoGP, I maintained that passion for aesthetics and stickers, as well as the habit of dropping in on the team garage at night. I enjoy the bike during the day _ obviously, but my relationship with the bike is so special that I can spend hours with it, just looking and admiring it, making sure that everything is in order. Those are very personal moments which I find difficult to describe. The Japanese guys, both the executives but also the engineers never knew this, not the guys at Honda, not the ones at Yamaha. I don’t think they would really understand. They would probably view it as a waste of time, since I don’t actually do anything concrete. I never touch anything to do with the bike itself, beyond, obviously, the stickers. And yet I find it hard to explain to an engineer that I enjoy simply being near the bike, even when I’m not doing anything. It’s a complicated concept to explain: the risk is that people will think that you're crazy.
During the day everything happens so quickly, frenetically, neurotically. However, there is a sacrosanct moment when I need to step away and isolate myself. Once my commitment to the team is over, usually around 5.30 p.m., I retire to my motorhome, relax and take a nap. It usually lasts a couple hours and then I go out. There’s always something to do after dinner. Of course, the range of options depends on how many friends are around. I really start enjoying the paddock around ten o'clock at night. Before going to sleep I check on the bike again and then I go into the team motorhome, which serves as an office. Now that I’m at Yamaha, I have an office all to myself. That’s where I keep all my race gear. I do this for two reasons. My own personal motorhome is an absolute mess, nothing more fits in there and I probably couldn’t find anything amid all the junk. Plus, the office is where I change into my racing suit before going out on to the track. Thus, at night, after going to the pits to see the bike, I go to make sure that all my stuff is where it should be: gloves, suit, socks, boots . . . everything needs to be perfect, because I just don’t have time in the morning to hunt around for stuff. Thus, each morning I have to follow a very precise routine. I’m like a robot, everything is the same each day. Because the truth is that I need to be like clockwork. I just don’t have the time to think. Somebody generally comes to wake me up — usually it’s Jeremy, because he doesn’t trust my ability to wake up on my own! I then get up, wash my face (my eyes are still shut at this point) and try to stay awake as I ride the scooter from the motorhome to the pits. I then go up to the office and get dressed. There too everything is done mechanically. It takes the slightest hiccup to throw everything off, forcing me to be late to the testing.
"I find it hard to explain to an engineer that I enjoy simply being near the bike, even when I’m not doing anything. it’s a complicated concept to explain: the risk is that people will think that you're crazy" well -
#some of you lot really should be making more use of -#- the line 'because that's actually when problems can arise - if it's you that the italian falls in love with'#//#brr brr#clown tag#batsplat responds#i can also remember a post-retirement interview where he was up early to watch the motogp race and was suffering? can't find it though#im on the other side of the generational shift on this... the idea of approaching professional sport like that makes me twitchy#like so much of it these days is controlling every controllable variable perfect optimisation and all that. this feels so casual!!#and is honestly one of the things that makes his longevity the most impressive. one hell of a change to have to make mid career
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You could just leave this here, happy and satisfied as is…
…But thats not how things get to end, right?
Maybe one day they can be happy together. But not like this. Not when Infected can barely remember who he’s with, and not when Lampert is so scared of contracting the parasite himself.
One of these days I’ll do a full summary of how I interpret their dynamic. Both as friends and as a ship. I see them as having a queer-platonic relationship for the most part though.
#regretevator#regretevator infected#regretevator lampert#regretevator fanart#regretevator kasper#regretevator skaterlight#skaterlight#i hc them as being queerplatonic personally lol#angst#theyre in a constant state of going WHAT ARE WE???#i love inflicting pain and suffering and more pain and suffering#i love qpr headcannons its like they kiss but casually and i find that funny#anyway skaterlight has my whole brain rn whoops#i have like#an actual comic i need to work on#that ive missed 3 weeks of updates for#my bad subhuman fans#its elevator time#regretevator art#regretevator au
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Here's 3 minutes of Katya and Trixie acting like an old married couple
#speaking for the other#finishing each other's sentences#saying the same thing at the same time with the same gestures#telling a story together#casual physical affection#including a gentle foot kick#Trixie giving i am baby help me daddy#and katya giving fond exasperation at Trixie doing her terrible trump impression#all the same references#watching Tammie during this was like whenever they jointly interact with another ru queen#where the queen is looking at them like wow okay lesbians#Trixie mattel#katya#katya zamo#trixie and katya#the brians#the bald and the beautiful#grabby hands#lesbian dads#this video took me way too long but once I'd commited to it i had no choice but to finish it#special guest star Katya's Boston accent saying Elizabeth AH-DEN#you know trixie bought her those hideous red Camper shoes for her birthday#supportive besties#lezzing out#very compatible#the most husband sentence in this 'remember when I said that to you'#also Trixie flexing her neck and rubbing her shoulders and her knee is so relatable#shout out to chronic pain suffers
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My brain thought of a corrupted Sci sans 👀 and so he was created to suffer.
#art#myart#my art#au#aus#utmv#doodles#Sci#Sci sans au#Sci sans#thinking of calling him viper or something#me casually making aus just to make bois suffer hfdjfj
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Laughingstock Lives in My Head Rent Free because Of You (/pos)
YIPPEE YAHOO <3<3
#who is he arguing with? a neighbor? a relative? a wrong number? inquiring minds want to know!#is it obvious that i dont know how to draw rotary phones. be honest#kidding kidding Anyway Back On Topic#it always makes me feel soooo so so Delighted yet Mischievous whenever i get a#'you're the reason i like laughingstock' ask or whatever#ITS SOOOO EMPOWERING LIKE HELL YEAH. SUFFER WITH ME. ARENT THEY PERFECT TOGETHER#the funny fluffy husbands??? yes??? Yes!!!!!#rent free! I Pay Them!!!#stg ill be so normal and then they pop into my head and my intelligence/personality regresses to that of a golden retriever#scribble garnish#rambles from the bog#laughingstock#barnaby x howdy#howdy x barnaby#also was this a fun excuse to draw howdy in casual clothes? yea#in my mind he's over at barnabys and was like 'oh dw ill answer your phone for you <3'#cut to ten minutes later he's still on it. hes arguing. barnaby has no idea who's on the other end. howdy will not take a breath to tell hi#your honor They Are So <3#BUT YES HAHA WELCOME TO THE BRAINROT!!!! 🎉🎉🎉
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Criminal Minds Evolution 17x05 - Conspiracy vs Theory
Luke: You gave a secret message to Damien right in front of us. Rebecca: How? Luke: That little tap-tap-tapping he was doing on the desk as they were talking was Morse code.
#tv: criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#criminal minds 17x05#emily prentiss#criminalmindsedit#penelope garcia#elias voit#rebecca wells#paget brewster#david rossi#my edit#i love how casually emily decoded the morse code#because people forget a) she used to be a spy#b) she's actually really smart#she might not be reid level genius but she#is also damned smart#and also i love that she allowed voit to contact damian#so not to tip her hand and see what sort of message#was passed on#also that ability to take risks#emily the spy#skills are always working#on this case hotch begins to suffer from#headaches he doesn't know why#but he feels its because of emily and rossi#*somehow*
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Okay like I know Vergil has to look more like his brother when they come back from the underworld because bro doesn't have any actual casual clothes of his own, right? So wouldn't Vergil have to borrow some of Dante's clothes until he has acquired enough outfits of his own? So sibling core. Like he could wear the one outfit he's had forever (boring) but it's so nice just to picture him in normal clothing, even if it's his brother's. Also, Vergil's hair being messy from sleep early in the morning? That's a need, an absolute must to see him in such a state.
#Even if its for a couple of days until they can get Vergil some clothes I just NEED to see him outside of his usual attire#vergil needs to unlock a casual fit#i also think it wouldn't be hard to tell them apart even if Vergil had his hair down too bc i think Dante's a little thicker ain't he?#totally get not wanting to though some of dante's clothes look like they are suffering. on the verge of disintegrating even.#also I don't really like being mistaken for my sibling either lmfao#vergil#vergil sparda#saint shut up
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ok i;m normal now new mao card so good.. 1 he is super duper pink here welcome back princess mao i missed u girl 2 the camera angle.. voiceline mentions being number 1 star and his talents and if u know mao's complication with both of those things from ex. autumn live it really makes u think that NO FUCKING WAY HAPPYELE IS ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING WITH MAO'S CHARACTER
his complication with being number 1 is the fact as a kid this guy always wanted 2nd place as to not hurt anyone if he got 1st he's a guy who doesn't want conflict and is a general people pleaser so the fact it looks as though he's looking down on us means he truly is at the top
he's at the top but at the same time he's stretching a hand out.. he's accepting and actually competing for the top but at the same time he still stays true to the part of him that wants to help others also goes along with the fact that trickstar may've been at the top at some point but they were still approachable..
the star thing where mao considers himself as a mere flashlight compared to the bright stars that the other trickstar members are his whole inferiority complex that soon gets shaped into him using his low self esteem as a flashlight that although he may not shine as bright he can still be the person he wants to be by being able to be other peoples sides as their light.. however this time he WANTS to be at the top of the sky as a true genuine star just like the trickstar who showed him true wonder whom he wishes to be with
the chandelier in the bloomed shining down at him to show how bright he is now is so good i love it
mao thinks himself of as a jack of all trades master of none so he thinks he has no outstanding talent but regardless of his own interpretation of himself he's going to push through it in fact the amount of effort this guy is willing to put in no matter how much it takes or troublesome that's his talent it seems ordinary on paper to mao but really it's a part of what makes him so important to the people around him who see him so brightly that he just doesn't seem to see for himself
i was so worried that mao being one of the first 2 4piece auditioners would mean he was only setup for 4piece exposition and be pushed to the side again but now it feels as though it's an ending to mao's arc that was left started in autumn live but never received an ending
i really am excited for this story but at the same time i'm also holding myself back for probably the more obvious conclusion of nothing really happening or something big happening that really ends with nothing but if happyele can AT LEAST let this be a push for mao's character in the 2nd year of !! era i'll be a happy man this is what i've been waiting for For so so long
first mao card of 2nd year of !! era being a love letter to his character makes me really happy it feels as though i could die
#and his name is MAO HIMEJOSHI ISARA#been so long since i've tagged that i missed it#trickstarPs and maoPs if ur out there r u hanging in there it's only been the start but we really r suffering already#LOVE U MAO ISARA... I WANT TO SEE U GROW...#ALSO NEW MAO SPRING SUMMER CASUAL SOON NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M MOST HYPED ABOUT#also trickstudio and the whole anzu leaving P association and having her base at trickstudio makes me so happy#HELL YEAH TRICKSTAR DO YOUR THING YOU ALWAYS DO!!!!!
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@infamous-if 's game has been living rent-free in my head for months now, and I've been agonizing over all these drawings before giving up halfway through each, so I decided it's gonna be one giant doodle dump, so at least I can maybe draw something new instead of going back to these over and over....
I do highly recommend the game, though. It's super fun and angsty and is the closest a tune-deaf introvert like me can bear to actual fame and being the lead singer of a band 😅😅😅
#infamous if#g reign#Victoria valentine#august pierce#devyn#iris#Rowan#seven lawless#my art#my ocs#Hollis barrow#sufferers casual#Doodle dump#I am obsessed with this game and storyline#and the mystery of Dakota#NSFW-ish
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"Amethio always looks like he's suffering so much."
#this is from an interview btw#with roy's va#'amethio always looks like he's suffering so much and whenever I see him I always want to just call him over'#me too... me too#makes me sad thinking about how his suffering is just that apparent#and also cool that the vas for other characters pick up on this stuff too and notice it etc#always like the casual amethio mentions in interviews and stuff like that#hz interview
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Another angst headcanon, sooo sorry 😢
Armin tells Annie for the first time that she’s sexy. The girl dies from body overheating. RIP Annie.
Seriously, I don't think Annie will know how to react to this, her face is burning and she can't say a word. Poor Armin will panic that he said something inappropriate.
Anon you just reverse-clickbaited me! xD
You know, if we're really talking about Armin using this word...
... 100% he knows what he's doing 😏
(can't ignore the type of VOICE he employs... )
You're right, Annie is not used to compliments as a whole! She basically lost all her senses and flew off to space with just him calling her "nice". Imagine what "pretty", "cute", "beautiful", "gorgeous", "good girl" will do!
"Sexy" will absolutely destroy her!
There's something about coming to terms with being complimented in ways that can still be "borderline" innocent, but him calling her "sexy" has an explicit sexual tone! It means he's sexually aroused! By her! Because of her! She! She's doing that to him!
She!!!!!
Yeah she's not coming out of this alive.
#listen I think he panics exactly ONCE before he realises:#“yeah no i think this embarrassment is GREAT actually and I want her to suffer a bit more”#cue: him whispering in her ear that she's sexy every time they're getting intimate#to him notching it up when they're casually getting dressed#and then making it worse by telling her in public spaces#RIP Annie I (do not) feel sorry for you#askies#aruani#armin arlert#annie leonhart#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#snk#aruannie#aot
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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Kazui Mukuhara, my beloved.
#*crashes through the ceiling* i'm back. with a new character i've latched onto. help#kazui mukuhara#milgram#yknow when you have a casual fav in a series and then WHAM suddenly you have feelings? yeah.#anyway please vote him innocent he's suffering out there
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